Post on faith

I have not always had faith. In high school, I was an atheist for a while. My parents raised me culturally christian, but chose not to impose any kind of religious belief on me as a child.

I converted to Catholicism as a teen and have wavered in my allegiance to the Church. Right now, knowing that the Church has opened its doors to the homophobic wing of the Anglican church makes me question how long I can continue to support this institution. My social convictions, which are based on liberation theology, and my multiple identities lead me to sharply disagree with some of the social positions that the Church has taken. I believe in change from within and this is why I stick with the Church...but I wonder if my conscience will overtake my desire to be part of this religion.

On a more metaphysical level, I adore Catholicism. The devotion to Mary, the rich lives of the saints, the holy trinity, the belief in transubstantiation (yeah, that wafer is actually a piece of god), heaven, the scriptures...all of it feeds my soul. There are also important movements within the Church that have inspired me, such as liberation theology, Catholics for Choice, the Catholic LGBT organizations, the Catholic Worker movement, Pax Christi, and all of the social justice work done by the Church. These are the things that tie me to the Church, that stop me from converting to something else...

Faith has helped me throughout my adult life, nourishing my desire for social justice, providing a sense of peace during Mass, and helping me cope with the loss of my grandfather.

I struggle with the contradictions involved in my faith.